#012 Theory of We, The Revolution Will Not Be Psychologized + Metta
Hey, friends. Welcome to the latest edition of The Now newsletter.
I always write this little intro after finishing the newsletter and, wow, I poured quite a lot of myself into this one.
It felt like I was dancing with controversy, meddling with the metaphysical, and even scratching at the spiritual.
I’m a little nervous about some of the ideas in this edition, but to be honest, that’s an exciting place to be.
Because if ideas aren’t tiptoeing out towards the edge, are they even worth sharing?
Before you dive in, I just want to say the response to my free course Nervous System Fundamentals has been awesome.
Thanks to everyone who’s signed up and is making their way through the lessons.
If you’ve got any feedback, or have any questions, please reply to this email. I’d love to hear from you.
As always, thanks for being here.
— Jonathan
💡 One Mind-Expanding Idea: The Theory of We
We hear a lot about personal pronouns these days, perhaps more so than any time in history.
Some of it has to do with human rights.
A lot of it doesn’t.
The rise of the first-person pronoun is symptomatic of a society high as a kite on individualism.
To put it bluntly, we’re a bit obsessed with ourselves.
I, I, I.
Me, me, me.
Individualism is on the rise globally, researchers say.
But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to reach that conclusion.
Scroll through Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter and see for yourself.
Our culture — just like our front-facing cameras — is well and truly focused on the individual.
An analysis of 766,513 American books published between 1960-2008 found the use of first-person singular pronouns (I, me) increased 42% while first-person plural pronouns (we, us) decreased 10%.
Imagine a similar analysis of social media posts from the past 20 years.
Don’t get me wrong, individualism has its place.
Individual freedom and sovereignty are important and worth fighting for.
But like all good things, you can have too much of it.
Studies have linked frequent use of first-person singular pronouns (I, me) with depression, anxiety, marital dissatisfaction and neuroticism.
And as individualism increases, people become more isolated.
A recent report found 61% of young adults in America feel “miserable degrees of loneliness”.
I, I, I.
Me, me, me.
Is this what happens when the individual is the most important thing in a world of individuals?
You know what they say… It’s lonely at the top. And in this story, we’re all at the top.
But what if we stop for a moment…
Take a breath…
Hop down from our castles…
Look around…
What would we see?
A whole heap of individuals just like me?
The English language has a pronoun for a group of individuals, you know.
This first-person plural pronoun can encompass every individual on earth.
It’s the pronoun I am learning to identify with more and more.
WE.
We, we, we.
By identifying as we, each of us has a chance to take the focus off ourselves and restore lost connections with others.
Interestingly, this does not weaken the individual.
By opening up to the wonders of we, the individual becomes whole.
Studies have linked frequent use of first-person plural pronouns (we, us) with commitment and closeness, relationship quality, marital satisfaction, and mental wellbeing.
All things we seem to be losing in our modern, individualistic age.
If this all sounds a bit new age-y and one love-y for you, consider this concept from particle physics.
“At an atomic level, we’re all incredibly deeply connected. Inside your body, right now, are hundreds of billions of atoms that were once inside each other human being on earth. Throughout the generations and the aeons, those same atoms continue to make up everything: the atoms of the dinosaurs, the plants, the trilobites, and even the single-celled organisms that once dominated our planet are now inside you.” — Forbes
WE aren’t just individuals in a vacuum. WE are connected.
Many indigenous cultures seemed to understand this intuitively.
The Māori people of New Zealand have the proverb, “Ko au ko koe, ko koe ko au”, which means, “I am you and you are me.”
The Lakota people of North America have the phrase, “Mitakuye Oyasin”, which loosely translates as, “We are all related.”
I’m not asking you to rearrange your worldview overnight.
I’m simply inviting you to try on a new pronoun.
See how it feels to be part of something bigger than yourself.
To shift from “me, me, me” to “we, we, we.”
🔗 One Curiosity-Igniting Link: The Revolution Will Not Be Psychologized
I’ve recently been diving into The Emerald Podcast after a few friends recommended it.
It’s probably the coolest podcast I’ve ever listened to.
Somehow, host Joshua Schrei manages to weave storytelling, mythology, poetry, science, religion and music into a deeply moving audio journey.
“The podcast draws from a deep well of poetry, lore, and mythos to challenge conventional narratives on politics and public discourse, meditation and mindfulness, art, science, literature, and more. At the heart of the podcast is the premise that the imaginative, poetic, animate heart of human experience — elucidated by so many cultures over so many thousands of years — is missing in modern discourse and is urgently needed at a time when humanity is facing unprecedented problems.”
The episode I’m choosing to share is called The Revolution Will Not Be Psychologized.
It explores what goes missing as we increasingly evaluate everything through the psychological lens.
Whether you’re ready to listen now or not, I highly recommend clicking the link and subscribing to this show to increase your chances of stumbling across it at a later date.
You’ll thank me later.
🔥 One Life-Altering Practice: Metta Meditation
Metta Meditation is a great practice for shifting from “me, me, me” to “we, we, we” thinking.
Also known as Loving Kindness Meditation, it’s about extending good vibes to all beings, including yourself.
Studies have found Metta Meditation can increase feelings of joy, gratitude, empathy and awe, and help with a wide range of health issues, including migraines, PTSD, and chronic pain.
It can feel a bit cheesy to begin with, but I recommend giving it a go.
How to do Metta Meditation
- Sit or lay down in a comfortable position and allow yourself to fully relax. Breathe calmly.
- Start by directing loving kindness to yourself. In your mind or out loud, say the words, “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.” You can alter the words to suit your needs.
- Allow yourself to feel the depth and truth of these words. Repeat them until you feel loving kindness towards yourself. Sometimes this feels like a warm glow or buzz.
- Next, think of someone you care for or who has deeply cared for you — a friend, partner, or family member. Direct loving kindness to them with the words, “May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.”
- Each time, allow yourself to sink into the intention of the words and imagine showering the person in loving kindness.
- Next, think of someone neutral, like a colleague, a shopkeeper or someone you see on the bus and repeat the process.
- Next, do the same for someone you have negative feelings towards.
- Finally, direct loving kindness to all beings — all people, animals, and life on earth.
Here’s a simple guided video, which may be a good place to start.
That’s it for this week. This edition felt a bit deeper than some others. Hopefully, it gave you something to think about.
Thanks for reading,
— Jonathan