#007 Helper’s High, Leaning Into Aliveness + Antidote to Stress
Hey, friends. Welcome to another edition of The Now newsletter.
Thanks to those of you who responded to last week’s newsletter with tips for dealing with a seasonal energy slump.
I’m not sure what did it, but the past two mornings I’ve woken up with a lot more energy.
It could be one of three things:
- I took a high dose liquid iron supplement
- I attended my first Men’s Circle mid-week, which may have topped up my masculine energy tank
- I’m just naturally adjusting to the seasonal shift
I really love how developing awareness of your inner world (interoception) allows you to better attend to what your body needs.
Whether it’s seasonal changes, mood swings, energy fluctuations, muscular tension, or something else, we can only respond to what we notice.
Thanks for being here. I hope you enjoy what I’ve whipped up for you this week.
— Jonathan
💡 One mind-expanding idea: Helper’s High
I distinctly remember when it hit me.
It started as a tingling wave in the back of my neck that streamed across my shoulders and down my back.
That same sensation burst from my chest and rose upward, flushing my face, concentrating beneath the crown of my head.
I felt tears welling in my eyes and an overwhelming sense of raw happiness.
You might be wondering which psychedelic substance induced this momentary state of bliss.
But it’s much simpler than that.
I had just finished helping a group of men shovel a pile of dirt into several new vegetable garden beds at a Buddhist retreat centre.
It took us about 30 minutes.
One of the retreat leaders, a monk, stood before us and simply said “Thank you”.
He told us that the garden beds would be used to grow vegetables that would help feed retreat guests for years to come.
That’s all it took to flood my body with happy chemicals – the knowledge that something I’d done voluntarily would benefit others.
I call this “Helper’s High”.
It’s this beautiful phenomenon where you give some of your time or attention and receive so much more in return (not that that should be the motivation).
I find self-improvement can be so focussed on what “I” get.
How can I be more happy? How can I make more money? Which practice is going to improve my life?
It’s easy to forget that one of most meaningful things you can do is to help others.
A study in the Journal of Happiness, published in 2020, surveyed 70,000 people in the United Kingdom about their volunteering habits and mental health.
The result: People who volunteer report better mental health and become happier over time.
Sounds a lot like self-improvement to me.
While I’ve found traditional volunteering to be extremely rewarding, helping doesn’t have to be so formal.
I’ve experienced Helper’s High simply from seeing an elderly woman struggling to reach a bottle of detergent in the supermarket and offering to get it for her.
Every day, we have opportunities to gift something to someone else: Our time, attention, energy, skills, expertise.
It could be a message of encouragement to a stranger on social media. It could be smiling at people in the street. It could be making a meal for someone you know is struggling. Or it could be joining a local cause you believe in.
The high that comes from helping suggests there’s something deeply primal about it.
Perhaps it awakens some ancient tribal part of us, reminding us of the community and interconnectedness we’ve lost in our modern age.
We should be wary of self-improvement becoming too self-centred.
The whole purpose of inner work is to be better equipped to share our gifts with the world.
By shifting our focus outward, we might find ourselves stumbling across the most profound gift of all: The gift of giving.
🔗 One curiosity-igniting link: Leaning Into Aliveness
I love stories like this.
Luke Combs was 21, living at his parents’ place and working the same job at a local go-kart track he’d had since he was 16.
He had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, but he did know one thing: He loved to sing.
That summer, he dug out an old guitar his parents had bought him when he was about 12.
After work, he sat on the porch and taught himself how to play.
You only need a few chords to start singing a tune over the top.
Soon, he was experimenting with writing his own songs.
Once he had a couple of originals under his belt, he booked his first gig at a bar down the street.
From that gig he earned $200 – more than he earned from the two jobs he was working that week – and he was hooked.
Today, 11 years later, Luke Combs is a chart-topping, Grammy-nominated country music singer-songwriter.
I think this is a great example of leaning into aliveness.
Luke didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, a dilemma all of us will be familiar with.
But by leaning into singing, the thing that made him feel most alive, a path started opening up ahead of him.
There’s a lesson in there.
Find the thing that “just makes sense, man”. The thing that doesn’t feel like hard work. The thing that’s fun.
Let aliveness be your guide.
Watch the Video
🔥 One life-altering practice: Antidote To Stress (1:2 Breathing)
This week, I had several people message me asking what they can do to regulate their nervous system.
There’s no simple answer to that question, but I’ve decided to share one of the most powerful practices I know for down-regulating your nervous system.
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, restless, wired, or you’re struggling to sleep, 1:2 breathing can help bring you back to a more balanced state of being.
This practice has helped me overcome recurring nightmares, sleep better, and consistently down-regulate from stress.
How to do 1:2 Breathing
- Lay on your back on the floor or bed and support your head with a cushion.
- Take a few breaths to tune in to your surroundings and how you’re feeling.
- Then, simply, breathe in through your nose into your belly for a count of 3. Exhale out your nose for a count of 6.
I usually set a timer for 10 minutes and I’m always blissed out afterwards.
You can change your inhale/exhale count so long as your exhale is double your inhale (hence the name 1:2 breathing). I usually start with 3:6 and gradually expand the breath as I relax into it.
You want the breath to feel full and deep, but it shouldn’t feel forced or uncomfortable at all.
Why does this work?
Exhalation stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system (calm response), while inhalation stimulates the sympathetic (stress response).
By doubling the length of the exhale, you’re turning the the dial on your calm response way up while turning your stress response down.
If you find this practice helpful, please consider retweeting my thread here and help share this medicine with the world.
That’s it for this week. I encourage you to find an opportunity to help someone this week, even if it’s a small gesture, and take note of how it makes you feel.
Thanks for reading,
— Jonathan